I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
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I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.