I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.