he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.