At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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