he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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