I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
