Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
