Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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