I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
