He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
