Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
