Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we should paint friendship bongs
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