just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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