): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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