guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
