im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
