Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
