so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
