TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Small penises have feelings too.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security