I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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