Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.