Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
