Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
