I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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