Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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