Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
