i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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