So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize