I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize