so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
