did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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