what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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