This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize