Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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