im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Vodka?
Forever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
