Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
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Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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