you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
