I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
