at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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