According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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