I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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