After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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