You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
