I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
