I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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