Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
