Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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