It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
