This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
