Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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