while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
