Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
