I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
