So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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