Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
