oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
