She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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