In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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