her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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