You're my little dorito
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize