in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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