what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
