Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
