Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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