Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
