apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
