well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
