this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
