areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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