Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
