Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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