I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
